Naughty Pre-Schoolers Fueled by Liquor Cordials?

Beijing -- A Changping District pre-school has reportedly seen an outbreak of students getting intoxicated from liquor cordials. The cordials, small chocolates filled with high-proof alcohol, were reportedly acquired on a summer vacation and have since made their way into the desks and mouths of a number of young students.

A foreign teacher embedded at the pre-school, fearing reprisals from higher authorities, spoke on conditions of anonymity. "I was just in the classroom, hanging out while the kids were eating their breakfast. Then, one kid, [name removed], came up to me with a bag full of little wrapped candies. First, he yelled, 'I'm a Transformer!' Then he extended the bag to me and said, 'Take one.' I told him, 'Just give me the best one you have.' He handed me a piece in a silver wrapper and I set it aside for later."

The foreign teacher decided to have his snack right before morning exercises, when all of the children and teachers go outside to perform choreographed routines to saccharine pop music. "I was unwrapping it, and while I was doing so [name removed] ran up to me and screamed, 'There's jiǔ (alcohol) inside!' and then spun around repeatedly in a circle while cackling. It was sort of creepy. I didn't really think about what he said at the time, as the kids say anything and everything for attention, but after I bit into it, sure enough, it was filled with some rank, Chinese liquor."

"I can normally hold my drink better than most, but I'd been dead sober for several weeks, so it hit me kind of hard," the foreign teacher divulged. "I'd say it was the equivalent of half a shot. So, when we went outside to do our little dances, I was slightly buzzing. It was definitely the funniest morning exercises I've experienced yet."

A Chinese teacher at the school was later confronted with questions about the incident. With a big smile, she asserted, "We think the candies make you very happy, and they are very lucky, too." When pressed further about the propriety of a 4-year-old potentially getting drunk off of the alcohol in the chocolates, she just smiled and nodded, apparently misunderstanding the inquiry.

An informal survey of behavior in the school showed an abnormally high amount of "naughtiness" and "moody crying." As to what role, if any, the candies played in this behavioral spike has yet to be conclusively determined, although anecdotal evidence strongly suggests a correlation.

[Fake reporting, but really happened]

After these messages...

In recent news, a dork off the coast of continental Europe has spotted the Loch Ness Monster with the help of Google Earth. See the convincing image above. In other news, I've returned to the net after a month of traveling and bureaucratic headaches. It feels good to be back, and I'd like to first set the mood with a bumpin' soundtrack. If you've had your nose anywhere near the musico-blogosphere recently, you're probably already well acquainted with the first two sets.

Health, an LA based electro-noise band, has certainly been soaking up the limelight this last month. How many times have I now read, "Best album of the year," referring to, Get Color, their latest release? Perhaps enough times that I've started to believe it. "Severin" reminds me of certain Animal Collective tracks off of Feels combined with some sick drumming and heavy axe work, whereas another track, "Die Slow," makes me think of something I heard, and disliked, during my 90's adolescence. Is it the best album of the year? Hmmm, what's an album? I'll give you one song that I like and you can dig for the others elsewhere, if you so please.

Health - "Severin"

Memory Tapes is Weird Tapes is Memory Cassette. Follow me? In the latter half of last year, the last two of these three names dropped some quality tracks onto the web, each with their own distinct sound. Then, this year, Memory Tapes was born, with another distinct sound, which may or may not be described as a merging of Weird Tapes and Memory Cassette. Still there? My understanding is that there is one guy, somewhere in the UK, who is behind these three monikers, and as of this month, he (or Memory Tapes, rather) has a new album out on Rough Trade. Here are tracks from each of the incarnations. They're all very poppy and infectious.

Weird Tapes - "The Heavens"
Memory Cassette - "Listen to the Vacuum"
Memory Tapes - "Bicycle"

And, I know a guy from school who is part of a new electronic duo called Blondes. I'm no fan of nepotism, so don't think that this addition comes unscrutinized. It's a svelt, ambient build-up that evaporates before you even realize you just taken a 5 minutes and 4 seconds journey through the Creator's sub-conscious.

Blondes - "Spanish Fly"

Finally, we have Mirrors, a Brighton band espousing David Byrne-ish vocals and Kraftwerkian electronics. I'd be happy to hear a full album following this vein.

Mirrors - "Fear of Drowning"

Coming soon, hopefully, a dive or two into the music of mainland China. Turn up the reverb and get ready to sing along. You speak Mandarin, right?

Shoe Update

I did a shoe post not so long ago, but I am feeling the need for an update. Since then, I have managed to procure a pair of Feiyues in my size, as well as another brand, Hui Li (aka Warrior).

Last year, a China-born design student in Helsinki, Shumeng Ye, took time from her studies to pursue a project documenting the present day popularity of Warrior sneakers in her homeland. The result was a book, which, when purchased, came with a pair of the classic kicks. Here is more info.

While their simplicity and Chinese characters may appeal to the Western minded, for most Chinese they embody a bygone era which doesn't fit with their contemporary selves. Fair enough. From their box to their insole, I think their perfect, but apart from the photos taken by Ms. Shumeng, I have yet to see a Chinese person wearing them.

Move Your Feet to the Summer Song

The summer is sweltering. The old men are up to their usual tricks: swimming in the murky waters of lake Houhai and rocking bare midriffs, and the ladies are hiding under fluorescent parasols while licking down icy popsicles.

I prefer to ratchet up the heat with some smoking trax and keep the fire at bay with a frosty Yanjing. Music and beer make the summer go round.

Holy Ghost!'s recent summer jam, I Will Come Back, is on the playlist. And I like to wash it down with the retro-tastic video.

After the romp, it's nice to rinse off the perspiration with some Walkabout from Atlas Sound and Panda Bear.

And as the sun's going under, I reach for Lindstrøm's Breakfast in Heaven, which always puts a glowing smile on my face.

After night-fall, I have no recollection.

Raze the Red Lanterns

A large hutong neighborhood near to my home has been demolished. I was not so shocked that it happened, but was shocked at how quickly it all transpired. The neighborhood is between my home and the Caochangdi gallery district, which I travel to regularly. It couldn't have been more than two or three weeks since I had last passed by.

And, Poof. It's gone.

The red area in the first picture is the now-demolished neighborhood, and the yellow arrow shows the spot from which I took the picture. The third picture shows a part of the empty plot. You can see quite easily in the second picture that the area was dense with housing.




Since this area is on the edge of Beijing's urbanity, I was sort of surprised that it went down with such haste. There are many hutongs in the center of the city, some of them being preserved as cultural heritage, but some are still marked for demolition. The infamous character chāi (拆) is painted on structures that have been been given a death sentence. It's a fairly common site around Beijing, and it's also a recurrent motif in films and other visual works surrounding the Three Gorges Dam project, such as Jia Zhang Ke's "Still Life". Here's one example from a neighborhood south of the Forbidden City in Beijing.


Most likely, some cookie-cutter, luxury apartments will drop down on this plot, giving shelter to the growing middle-class. The former inhabitants were probably dealt the fate of so many before them: a minimal compensation package and a lack-luster apartment even further away from the center.

As an end note, I was with a young Chinese couple last weekend, and while walking to a restaurant we started talking about housing in Beijing. The district we were in had a mixed-bag of quite new apartments and buildings dating back to the 60's (that's ancient by Chinese standards). In turn, we each pointed out the buildings we liked as we progressed down the streets. Invariably, all of my choices were at least ten years old and all of their choices were less than ten years old. This did not come as a surprise. However, when the conversations turned to "sìhéyuàn", the courtyard houses that are the building blocks of old hutong neighborhoods, we all agreed that it would be pretty awesome to live in one. Indeed, it would.

Radsport in Peking? Wirklich?

Natooke is a fixed gear/juggling supplies shop in a burgeoning hutong street near Beijing's Lama Temple. It's certainly the only shop of it's kind in Beijing, and perhaps the world. While I can juggle, and sometimes do it as a crowd-pleaser in my kindergarten, I wouldn't call myself an enthusiast of the art. I do, however, consider fixed-gear bikes as a passion. On a recent visit to the shop, I talked with Ines, who, along with a friend, runs this kooky, little place.

Ines is German and is the bike side of the shop. She is a kunstradfahrerin (I use the German, not out of pretension, but because I'm not sure if there is a proper word for it in the English speaking world. Check this link). It's like bike dancing, I guess. It seems to exist mainly in Europe and, as far as I can tell, predominately in the German speaking parts. Kunstrad bikes are essentially like fixed gears, but have many crucial differences, namely a 1-to-1 gear ratio. They also have strange handle-bars and a very steep head-tube angle, but I don't want to get too technical. I first encountered kunstrad on the internet, while living in Germany, but it has taken coming to China to get a closer, hands-on look. Hopefully, I can check out on of Ines' shows sometime soon.

Going back to fixed gears, I've learned from Ines that there is a community of riders in Beijing. They are relatively small (about 30 in a city of around 17 million), but they are growing. Perhaps I'll be the next member of the club. My eyes are peeled for an appropriate frame.

Kickin' It

Feiyue shoes are classic, and I love them. They are simply beautiful. My friend Doug broke his leg in the Czech Republic while wearing a pair (he might blame it on the shoes, but the Chinese would say, "Shoes are good. Eat more meat. It makes you strong."), which added a memorable ending to an already memorable road trip. They are all over Europe, but only occasionally do you see a Chinese person wearing them, and usually they are old enough to have seen the founding of the PRC. Furthermore, if you go out looking for some in China, you inevitably have to sort through endless pairs of knock-off Nikes, Vans, Adidas, etc., before you'll find a pair. It might be a sign of their inevitable death, so let's enjoy them while we can.

They're so great, someone has even made a blog about them.

Today, after playing basketball in a pair of borrowed, two-sizes-too-small shoes, I set off in search of some aesthetically pleasing and somewhat sporty shoes. Unfortunately, Feiyues are difficult to find in my size, so I had to settle for some "Double Stars." Timeless design with some nice Chinese touches.